I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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