physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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