margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
