do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Randomize
