The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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