You work out of a Hotel?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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