At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
