i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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