her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize