dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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