I didn't shave. On purpose
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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