I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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