are you still at the devil's house?
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
