This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
