What did we do last night that was yellow?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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