No awkward lesbian experiences without me
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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