we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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