Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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