There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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