Pants 0. Shit 1.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Hello my rib-scented angel!
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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