Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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