can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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