you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Randomize
