You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I want a musical about memes.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
