He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
