Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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