Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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