i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
