Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
