Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
