i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
