The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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