So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
