R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
