I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
