Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
