O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
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She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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