I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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