You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize