I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
