Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
