I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
When did angry sex become our thing?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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