Its about making memories worth repressing
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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