i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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