I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
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you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
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Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
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