Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
and she was petting her beer can
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
