Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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