you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
