i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
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