I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Randomize
