I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
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the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
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No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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