batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
It's never too late to be topless.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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