then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
