I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Randomize
