I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Omg I joined a choir last night...
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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