okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
