Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
