Tell her she can't have a vagina
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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