capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
She announced her abortion via fbk
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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