it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
