I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
