not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize