my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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