Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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