Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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